Since becoming a mama, there is a new type of TV/movie scenario I need to avoid: basically, anything that involves children. Maybe it's the hormones, but it seems like every single show or movie I watch involves children being hurt, abandoned, kidnapped... or worse. And it gives me heart palpitations. I think it just hits too close to home. What used to be sad or troublesome now stays with me for days on end - I can't get those horrible images out of my head and worry about not only the safety of my own children, but every child I know! Yes, I acknowledge this is a little crazy. But it's the truth.
Last week Netflix sent us "Babble" - you know, the 2006 movie with Brad Pitt that was nominated for Best Picture? Neither Daniel or I had seen it, but were excited to watch. Well, it takes a bit of concentration to understand that movie and connect the dots. But I just couldn't do it. Why? Because every storyline involved children being put in harm's way - Moroccan children shooting guns and feeling guilty when an accident happens, US children being taken into Mexico and then left in the desert, and even a teenage girl in Japan with more issues than I can write about here. Every time a new scene started, I was worrying about the children in the last scene. My heart was aching as if they were real people, in a real situation. Last night's Law and Order: SVU involved an abandoned baby - and I almost had to leave the room because it was so heart-wrenching. And you know it's bad when I can't even watch Wonder Pets on Nick Jr. without tearing up at the thought of the Baby Panda not being able to find his Mama.
I guess it's because I have a new perspective since becoming a mother - I now feel the constant need to protect, defend and nurture babies and children. It's not out of left field for mamas to feel this way, but I never thought it would hit me so hard. I definitely think it's magnified by the hormones, but I have serious visions of becoming a Helicopter Mom - hoovering over my child's every move to keep them safe and protected. I always knew I would be a tad bit overprotective. That was a given. But I think it has taken on new form. Miss Paige was playing in one of those Fisher-Price cars the other day and my mind immediately jumped 15 years ahead, to when she is driving a real car. And even though I have a decade and a half to prepare myself, it's terrifying to think of my baby out on her own. Phew... I'm getting myself in a tizzy just writing about it : )
And so, it is with new perspective on what it means to conceive, carry and raise a baby from infancy that I must now declare: Miss Paige, you will live at home forever. With mommy and daddy. And your little brother. And if necessary, we may become Amish. Or people who live in a tent in the woods.Or I may deem it necessary to form a family band - a la The Partridge Family - so we will be forced to be together forever (contractually, legally binding of course - for the sake of the band).
Just kidding... kind of : )