The Definitive Guide to Children's Music (...Based Purely on the Danceability-Factor as Determined by Moms and Dads)

Children's music is rated on a simple scale:
Slightly Irritating ---> Roll Your Eyes Annoying ---> D*amn this SUCKS! --->;  (escalating quickly to) THROW THIS CD OUT THE EFFING WINDOW BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT!

And then - occasionally - a song comes on that isn't so bad. It actually is catchy. And... wait for it...
 

You don't really mind it. Like The Laurie Berkner Band

 

 

And Choo Choo Soul

 

 

And sometimes, the song even grows on you... Like anything from The Fresh Beat Band

 

 

And Sharky and Bones from Jake and The Neverland Pirates. You may even learn the corresponding dance moves...

 

 

Or look forward to it coming on... Like DJ Lance Rock

 

 

 

Because "That is my JAM!"

And don't even hate on those Disney songs... Like Aladdin's "Friend Like Me"

 

 

Or "I Just Can't Wait to be King" from Lion King

 

 

There are the songs that tell our stories... That we connect to on an emotional level. Like "When Will My Life Begin" in Tangled

 

And "Part of Their World" from The Little Mermaid
 

 

And then Disney had to go and do it. They did this...

 

 

"Let It Go" from Frozen.

Let. It. Frieken. Go!

The new pinnacle of children's songs...

 

 

BAM!