As
parents, there is nothing more precious to us than our kids. We are willing to
sacrifice time, energy, and money to ensure their wellbeing. The big question
that haunts us as parents in this day and age is “Why are so many youngsters
today, emotionally imbalanced, using drugs, feeling lost, angry and
despairing?”
What
are we overlooking as parents? What might be our blind spots? These are not
easy questions that have easy answers. One fact is undeniable, as parents, we
are the role models to our children. And if we don’t take care of our inner and
outer wellbeing, they don’t learn to do the same. We have a sacred
responsibility to become as balanced and healthy as we can, so that we impart
and inspire with our lifestyle and influence our kids.
In
short, we can raise our children better and the work starts with us. We must
overcome the fact that emotional balance is not yet valued by society and as a
result is not taught to our children in schools. We cannot be expected to fill in this gap
since we ourselves did not fully acquire the tools necessary when we were
growing up. Thus the cycle continues and we see our children making emotionally
unfulfilling choices that we at times feel helpless to solve. What we are
passionate about is guiding our children, supporting them, and creating a
constructing and fulfilling life. Let’s
start by healing ourselves.
We
have all have sets of confining perceptions and beliefs that translate to
frozen energetic emotional structures and lead to negative programming. We may
not be aware of the limiting programs that are running us (unless we study
ourselves), and we may get frustrated and saddened by the fact that we cannot
change things we want to change, but it is the inner program that has to change
before our lives can begin to change. Misplacing our anger about our inability
to change is as ineffective as being frustrated with what’s coming out of a
printer; directing your anger at the printer will not change what’s being printed.
Instead, we must go to the computer and change the document itself. Once we’ve
recognized this misplaced anger and frustration, we can follow these tips to
create emotional health within ourselves and as a result in our kids.
The First Step
We
need to identify the different
voices or aspects within ourselves.
Gates of Power® Method, defines three inner aspects
·
The
Emotional Self – the place within ourselves where all emotions reside
·
The
Defensive Self – the set of survival / defensive skills we acquired to be able
to feel safe and loved
·
The
Expanded Self – the part within us that holds our wisdom, intuition,
compassion, and highest perspective
Most
of us experience inner confusion, conflicts, and emotional discomfort because
of lack of unity between these three inner aspects. Our Defensive Self is most
of the time the leader or shall we say the “tyrant” repressing our Emotional
Self and ignoring our Expanded Self. It
is clear that the Expanded Self should be the leader of the inner team and the
real master of our lives. Most of the time it takes work to establish that.
The Second Step
Make
the Expanded Self your inner leader. The good news is that every one of
us, with no exception, is born with an Expanded Self. No matter how estranged
we have become from it, it is always within us. The expanded self has two
faces: the witness and the healing guide. One face is only observing—it is pure
awareness; the other is actively guiding our journey toward wholeness. Most of
us don’t experience life from our Expanded Self. Our Expanded Self is the one
who can heal our inner being through the art of inner dialogue. It can heal and
support our Emotional Self dissolve and soften our Defensive Self, so that all
aspects of the self work together in a constructive, healthy way.
The Third Step
We
need to take an active role in healing our emotional self. We must admit and
accept that human experience is fraught with different experiences. We tend to
interpret some of our hurtful experiences and losses as personal deficiencies.
We create a negative sense of self and a negative outlook on life and people.
We hide our pain and lack of self-esteem under our Defensive Self, and live a
contracted, limited, and at times destructive life. But there is no need to
keep ourselves in bondage. Each one of us has unique and meaningful gifts,
talents, and capabilities that are meant to be expressed and enjoyed. We are
meant to be a contribution to each other. The secret, as I explained before, is
acknowledging your Expanded Self and learning to live within its expression and
guidelines.
The Fourth Step
I
suggest that you take the time to notice when you are operating from your
Emotional Self, when you are reacting and acting from your Defensive Self, and
when you experience life from your Expanded Self. Become aware of the
relationship among these three aspects and teach yourself to be guided by your
Expanded Self, since that part possesses your wisdom, insight, and compassion
The Fifth Step
Gates
of Power Method identifies seven portals or Gates through which our expression
and energy flows. We call them the Seven Gates of Power.
The Seven Gates of power are:
