Monday, August 3, 2009

Need a Laugh? Kathy Griffin's New Book Foreword

This has nothing to do with being prego, except for the fact that we could all use a good laugh from time to time, right? The hilarious comedienne Kathy Griffin just finished her book -- "Official Book Club Selection". Read her foreword (addressed to Oprah) here:

Documenting the Big Swell

Even though I was married back in April, I've been putting off officially changing my last name for one simple reason: I don't want to look swollen, puffy, pimply or fat in my new driver's license picture! I mean, this thing isn't a flash in the pan -- I will have it as my photo ID for the next TEN years of my life! Ok, I know I sound like a complete egomaniac at the moment -- but bear with me here. Flash forward 5 years -- even 2 years. You've lost the baby weight, you're back to looking good and feeling good. SO good in fact that you get I.D.'d at a restaurant when you order your favorite green apple martini. AHHH! The HORROR! No matter how much progress you make post-baby, you'll forever be reminded of the Big Swell that was your life for 40 weeks. And on top of that, in Georgia (where I live) you have to put your WEIGHT on the driver's license!!

So over the last three and a half months since the wedding, I've been "too busy" to make it happen. Every time I got close to biting the bullet and heading down to the DMV, I'd have a bad hair day, sprout a giant pimple, or feel like Shamu. But late last week -- I did it. Deep breaths. I got my new license -- with picture and weight -- and officially, legally changed my last name.

Here's a description (I'll try and scan in a pic soon!)... my hair looks greasy, my face looks a shade of gray/green, my nose is a swollen mess. Basically, my fears were not in vain.

And you're probably now wondering about my weight? Well I'll tell you this... they don't actually weigh you, so how do they know if I put my pre-pregnancy weight, or perhaps even my goal weight POST pregnancy : ) (Please Note Georgia Department of Motor Vehicles: I'm not saying I lied on this legal document, but it could be in the realm of possibilities for someone to do if they so chose)