Saturday, May 7, 2011

What It Means to Be a Mama

A friend of mine wrote this amazing description of what it means to be a Mama... and I just had to share in honor of Mother's Day. How true is it??!!

10 Things I've Learned Since Becoming a Momma

By Christina  DeMott **Dedicated mama of two precious girls - Charlotte (17 months old) and Chessa (in utero)**

"In honor of Mother's Day,  I've decided to share with you some of the wisdom I've learned in my two short years since joining the greatest club ever.  I dedicate this note to all the amazing mommas I know, especially my 3 beautiful mothers Donna, Debbie, and Arlene.  You've taught me to be an incredible mother, never sweat the small stuff, and inspire me to strive everyday."
 1.  There is NOTHING sexier than a man who changes fowl smelling diapers and loves your kid(s). And fellas, forget the romance!  The quickest way to get your wife in the sack is to clean the house, cook dinner, and do a load of laundry (washed, dried, folded and put away thank you).  This method is so effective it's guaranteed to leave even Barry White's head spinning.

 2.  Extreme vigilance doesn't even begin to describe how closely you need to watch your children.  My toddler can  open a box of crayons, decorate the wall, eat half of a crayon and managed to get the other half lodged in the dog's ear in the 15 seconds it takes for me to use the bathroom.  If you think you have it covered with socket plugs, think again.

 3.  Having children breathes new life into holidays.  You will find how unbelievably exciting it is to celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and even Earth Day when you can see it through the eyes of a child.  We find a way to celebrate almost every holiday in our house, except Ramadan.  Italians. Don't. Fast.

 4.  You appreciate others so much more, especially other mothers.  When you realize that people still have the  ability to be kind to you even though they've only had 4 hours of sleep, spilled coffee on their pants, had a baby vomit on their breakfast, and stepped in a huge pile of dog poop on their way to work; it gives you a new faith in the world.

 5.  You will become political.  Republican, Democrat, Independent, or Green it doesn't matter.  Any decision made by the government that doesn't agree with your child-rearing values will severely piss you off.  Because now, it's not just your future that is riding on their stupidity.

 6.  Hormones.  Seriously one of the scariest products of becoming a mother.  Pre-children, I occasionally got a little  cranky once or twice a month.  Once I became pregnant however and especially after delivery, I probably could have been committed over my madness.  I've drawn blood over a box of chocolates (sorry Dad), threatened to divorce my husband over a game of Scrabble, and wept in the produce isle of Price Chopper (causing quite a scene) over a lack of organic strawberries.  If your family still loves you after that, then you know they'd probably help you bury a body too.

 7.  Keeping your house clean and your kids on a tight schedule might be vital to your sanity, but I expect that to happen like I expect Fabio to show up on my doorstep with cleaning fairies and dinner elves.  The way I see it, it is an impossible mathematical ratio.  My daughter can destroy three rooms in the time it takes me to clean one.  Therefore sanity = dividing by zero.  Just not possible.  Of course it helps to look at the positive.  As long as the Department of Heath isn't threatening to condemn your house and your kids aren't rolling around in feces, you're good!

 8.  There is nothing more terrifying than becoming a mother.  Not because having a child is actually scary, it is the world around you that becomes so. You are now responsible for protecting, educating, loving, and transforming these perfect little creatures into fully functioning adults.  You will constantly doubt yourself, and be up all night  worrying about incredibly stupid scenarios like what to do if a bear breaks into the house.

 9.  You will greatly miss the ability to form fully functional sentences and the rest of your brain power that your children seem to have stolen away.  It seems to me that your brain short circuits with all the massive amounts of information and knowledge required when raising children.  Don't worry though, I've heard some of us do regain the ability to hold an intelligent conversation once the children are much older.

10.  Nothing will prepare you for how much you absolutely adore your children. They will astonish you everyday   with their brilliance, make you laugh, and warm your heart in ways you never even imagined.  You would do anything to protect them. Anything.  It's never a good idea (in any species) to come between a mother and her young.

Through all this, just remember:  if you hit the pillow every night sore, anxious, full of doubt, beyond exhausted yet filled with an exceptional sense of love and joy; you are probably doing everything right.