FEAR: “Will I do everything right?” --Andrew
MOM TIP (From TheBump):Let him know that it's okay to be clueless.
SLM RESPONSE: You know those books I've bought for you that are collecting dust? READ THEM! And stop trying to get out of the parenting class I've signed us up for. This is new for both parties involved - but be as prepared as possible.
FEAR: “I'm scared that everything we do will now be centered around babies.” --Hendrik
COUPLE TIP (From TheBump):Relax. Like Gold says, “If an active social life is important to you, you're going to make that work with one kid or ten.”
SLM RESPONSE: Yup, pretty much! At least for the first year or so. We've had nearly 30 years to be selfish and focus on ourselves - it's ok for something else to be more important now.
FEAR: “I guess my biggest concern is that having a baby will force me to grow up. I'll have to drink less beer, play less video games...” -- Tom
DAD TIP (From TheBump): Yes, life is going to change. But it's okay if you still need some time for yourself. “Verbalize one thing you need and have your wife verbalize one thing she needs,” says Gold. Maybe you can take baby-duty on Tuesdays while she has a girls' night, and she'll hold down the fort so you get Thursday nights with the boys.
SLM RESPONSE: Ummmm... does this even deserve a response? Yes. You will need to grow up. But the bigger question is - why/how are you in a relationship if you haven't "grown up" yet? Does your mother still do your laundry, too? Sorry - but this one really frosts my cookies!
FEAR: "Lack of sleep, because it makes me really cranky." --John
COUPLE TIP (From TheBump):“You WILL sleep again,” says Gold. Just not at first. In the meantime, get a sleepy-time strategy. Will one of you handle the late-night shift on weekdays and the other on weekends? Can a grandma help out sometimes? Make a plan that works for you.
SLM RESPONSE: Now think about if you had no sleep AND were breast feeding a baby every 2-3 hours. You want to see cranky?! Team work is the key. And Starbucks!
FEAR: "All the crap that will be everywhere around the house." --Nate
DAD TIP (From TheBump): “There's not some monster that's going to come in and steamroll over you,” Gold laughs. If it's important to you to maintain some order, make a plan with your spouse to do so. Follow Gold’s lead: “I have a house with baby-friendly and nonbaby-friendly areas,” explains the mother of two.
SLM RESPONSE: News Flash - You know your koozie collection, college football posters and stinky shoes that are hanging around the house that I've been stepping over and decorating around for years? Think of this as pay back. And bottom line - deal with it. It's your baby you are talking about!