Speechless Saturday: Mischievous Paige

Words Only Mommies Use

Last time I was at the pediatrician (my new pediatrician, BTW... not the one who called me a "barbarian" - click here for that story if you don't know what I'm referring to!) she mentioned I should start offering Paige something called "Biter Biscuits." I nodded and smiled like I totally knew what she was talking about. But I didn't. I had never heard the term before in my life. As soon as I got home I started doing some intense research (aka Google) and found them. There is actually a product by Gerber called Biter Biscuits! I figured it was a generic name. WRONG! They are a specific product designed for babies to hold and chew. Instead of crumbling, the "biscuit" dissolves to avoid choking. Of course that's what they are! ; )

I think back to last year at this time when there was a whole set of words that I had never heard before. It is like a secret vault of terms and products that non-Moms don't realize even exist. But, once that baby pops out, we use these terms like we've been chatting about them our whole lives.

Case in point: Boppy. In no way does it describe what the product is, does or looks like. But EVERY mama knows exactly what it is, AND probably has one.

I've compiled a list of Mommy-isms... Think back to before you were a mama - this list would have looked like a foreign language! I guess we know what our husbands feel like now : )

Feel free to add more in the comments section below! Maybe ones for phases I haven't gotten to yet?

• Biter Biscuits
• Boppy
• Bumbo
• Puffs (not the tissues!)
• Sleep Sack
• Sleep Sheep
• Nipple Shield
• Butt Paste
• Teething Tablets
• Gripe Water
• Playard
• Baby Bjorn
• Snuzzler
• Melissa & Doug
• Medela
• Diaper Genie
• Wee Blocker
• Soothies
• Robeez
• Dreft

I Used to Despise Sweatpants...

I used to despise sweatpants.

I couldn't understand why anyone would want to lounge around in the same thing they wore to bed.

I couldn't wait to start a new day so I could wear a cute new outfit, which of course I picked out the night before.

I used to take at least 2 showers a day and I would spend at least an hour doing my hair and make-up after each one.

I used to make a big cup of coffee and sip it slowly as I caught up on the news in the quiet of the morning.

I would go for manicures, pedicures and to get my hair done whenever I was in the mood for "me time."

I used to be late for everything, all the time.

I used to avoid talking on the phone or to people in general because I spent all my energy at work being "on."

I used to dream of what it would be like to be a wife, and then a mom.


And then it happened. I become a mom and everything changed...

I own 20+ pairs of sweatpants and can't get enough on their cushy, comfy feeling.

I often wear my "pajamas" until around noon... sometimes all day long.

I pick out outfits based on functionality, not fashion. And I pick them out five minutes before I am about to walk out the door.

I take an average of half a shower a day. My makeup consists of Chapstick. My hair can almost put itself in a messy bun on top of my head.

I make iced coffee because it takes too long for hot coffee to cool down. And I chug it. I would consume it via I.V. if I knew how.

I get my dose of daily news from The View while my little one takes her nap.

My idea of "me time" is taking a nap.

I plan ahead and arrive on time - if not early - for everything. I build in wiggle room for emergency diaper changes, feedings or overall meltdowns.

I can't wait for the clock to strike 8 a.m. so I can start calling, texting and visiting friends and family. If you let me, I will talk your ear off.

I am a wife. A mom. And a woman whose life was turned completely upside down. But looking back, I sometimes wonder if it was my former self that was upside down. My pre-Mommy self. And if that only now, I am finally right-side up.