Mom Jeans

My husband accused me of something so horrific, so vile, it's hard to even write about... He said I'm only one step away from (Cue dramatic music...) MOM JEANS! Here's what happened...

Yesterday, we were driving home after church and in bumper to bumper traffic. As we sat there, I started to admire the "rear decor" on the SUV in front of us. She had all sorts of stickers representing her life - the stick people family, a South Carolina palm tree and crescent moon, a "13.1" sicker for the half-marathon she ran (which, BTW, seems to be a new mandatory past time for women ages 25-35. Everyone I know is talking about what half-marathon/5K they are training for... right?!) And the highlight for me was her license plate frame. It was a decorative one, with blue and green polka dots. I thought it was adorable. I took out my iPhone and started to search for it online to see how much it cost. My husband - who obviously knows me better than I know myself - looked over and said, "Why don't you just search for some mom jeans why you're in there." Here is the conversation that followed:

Me: EXUUUUUUUSE ME?!

Daniel: I know you are looking for that license plate frame. And if you get that, you're only one step away from mom jeans. I'm just sayin'...

Me: No way! That frame is adorable! There is nothing "mom jeans" about it!

Daniel: Yeah, ok! (note the sarcasm). Two years ago, the young fashionista I knew NEVER would have put that on her car. You're going down a slippery slope my friend.

Me: Whatever! (that's pretty much all I could muster up for a response... I know - pretty lame)

Daniel: It's not like I care, but I wanted to intervene because I know how much YOU care...

Me: Whatever.

So for the rest of the ride home, I really could not figure out why liking that adorable license plate frame made me mom jeans-esque. And there, I believe, lies the problem! I'm so close to jumping head first into mom jean mania, that I can't even differentiate the line. So what's a mama to do? I ran directly (did not pass go, did not collect $200) to Old Navy and bought a second pair of Rockstar Super Skinny Jeans. So basically - my mind my be going the way of mom jeans, but I'm going to try and hold on - kicking and screaming - to my former self. Let's see how long that lasts... : )

So Fresh and So Clean

I've been at home for almost an entire year now (first on disability at the end of the pregnancy, and now of course a stay-at-home mama) - hard to believe since I've worked at least one job (usually more than one) since the age of 13! And I am totally loving it. But there is one down side that I discovered... since I don't spend an hour + in the car commuting each morning, I miss out on all the scoop from my beloved morning radio shows! Occasionally I'll grab 10 minutes of the chatter here or there as I make a Starbucks run or go to pick up my husband's dry cleaning in the morning. Yes, I totally realize I could turn on the radio in my house each morning - but I seriously don't think about it until it's after 10 a.m. and all the shows are over. A few days ago I ran out to Starbucks with Miss Paige in tow and there was a particularly interesting conversation going on. I can't remember specifics, but it was something really juicy! : ) So I am totally sucked into the story and decide to sit in the car for a few moments to listen to the conclusion, sipping my Starbucks while Paige plays in the back seat. All is good, right? WRONG! After a few minutes I realized I was sitting in the garage, with the car running still, and the garage door down!!! DUH! Luckily we're still alive to tell the story : ) Anyway, I digress...

So this morning I had to run out to do a few errands and had on a local radio show. A commercial came on for Secret's newest product - waterproof deodorant. I know what you're thinking - "Yeah. Nothing new. Who cares." Which is totally what I was thinking. All I want my deodorant to do is keep me from stinking up the joint. Whatever they have to do to make that happen is fine with me. So you know the commercials where one of the morning show DJs talks from "personal experience" about the product? You know - like Healthee Trim diet pills? Laser hair removal? Cell phone plans? Car dealers? Well this commercial was one of those types, and the female DJ starts raving about how great this waterproof deodorant is. She says something to the extent of, "I can do whatever I want throughout the day, and I know my deodorant is still there. Even after I shower! Nothing can penetrate through this waterproof deodorant!" HUH?! Isn't the point of showering to CLEAN your body - including the pits? Why in the world would I want a deodorant that REPELS water, and therefore repels my attempts to clean my pits? It's not like waterproof mascara, where it stays on until you wash it off. According to the commercial, it stays on even after you try to wash it off! Who in the world would want that? I mean, is it that hard to reapply deodorant after you shower? I personally would rather reapply then let the funk fester until the waterproof deodorant finally decomposes under my pits. Not that I have any funk, that is ; ) So am I missing something here? I just don't get it! It's other uses make sense - like when you are at the pool or beach. But shower-proof? I'll pass on that!

In other news, Paige is standing! Woo hoo!!!

What Southern Mamas Say

Over the last week I've had playdates with a few diferent Southern Mamas. Being a transplant to the deep South, it's taken me a couple years to work words like "ya'll" into my everyday vocabulary. And I must say that it's very strange to say things like "ya'll want some coffee?" with "ya'll" being as Southern as can be, and my still distinct NY accent coming out on "coffee." Oh, and then throw in the long O's of the Pennsylvania Dutch accent I picked up in college. I'm a hot mess the say the least : ) So anyway...

There is one thing all Southern Mamas say to their daughters - and I have definitely picked up on over the last few months. And that is "No, ma'am!"

In the same vein as how "bless his/her heart" is used as a sweet, Southern way of saying "They're NUTS!,"   "No, Ma'am!" is a sweet was of disciplining our baby girls. It can be said gently as you take away something she shouldn't be playing with. It can be said with a slight tone paired with a hand slap if they take something that isn't theirs. Or, it can be used in full force with clenched teeth and the evil eye, when they've done something really bad - NO! MA'AM!!

You should try it. It's a great catchall for discipline, and you'll still sound sweet as a Georgia Peach while saying it. And if you're in the South, pay attention to how many times it's used at your next playdate. I lost track at the last few I've been at : )