A Living, Breathing Super Mom

I am a Super Mom. I can do it all.

I leap out of bed when the sun comes up,

And walk around in a fog until I have my daily dose of caffeine.

My kids are dressed in only the cutest clothes,

That just happen to be splattered in ketchup, grease and grass stains.

My house is spotless, straightened and clean,

But please don't open any drawer, closet or cabinet without wearing the proper protective gear.

Dinner is on the table at 5:30 sharp,

As long as I remembered to defrost the chicken.

My kids don't watch any TV,

Because they refuse to watch anything besides Elmo DVDs.

The laundry is always folded and hung,

But rarely makes it out of the baskets and into the drawers and closets.

I feed my children only the most nutritious foods,

Did you know frozen pizza covers the majority of food groups?

I work out daily, making sure to stay fit,

As long as you count running up and down the stairs 100 times each day.

I take some "me" time each and every day,

From about 10-10:05 pm before I fall asleep.

I spend an hour or more clipping and sorting coupons before I go to the grocery store,

And I forget to bring them or use them 99% of the time.

I maintain close relationships with my girlfriends,

Even if the majority of our conversations revolve around poop.

I support my child's love of books,

But make them conveniently disappear after reading the same one 50 times in a row.

I always get dressed and presentable before I leave the house,

As long as the sweatpants I throw on happen to match the t-shirt I wore to bed the night before.

I teach my children to love and respect animals,

But if that sketchy neighborhood cat pees in my child's sandbox again, it's a goner!

I started a college savings fund for both my children,

And pretend that my $100 monthly deposits will somehow be enough to cover the ever-increasing costs.

I introduce my children to different cultures and languages,

Meet Dora, Diego, Kai-lan and Toot & Puddle.

I am a Super Mom.

A living, breathing Super Mom.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.