UPDATE: What's Up With Co-Sleeping

I know many of you weren't able to sleep after my riveting post - "What's Up with Co-Sleeping" - wondering what the conclusion would be of getting Lenni LuLu out of the bed  ;  )  So, I've decided to give you all an update...

Just like the VanDerPlump's finally had to give "permanent houseguest" Cedric the boot on the season finale of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, let's pretend I don't watch/DVR/re-watch the show either...) good old Lenni LuLu was about to get the heave-ho back to her kennel. Now, I'm not sure if she read my blog post or someone broke the news to her, but the same night I decided she was going into her kennel, she wasn't in the bed when I went upstairs. At first I thought she was burrowed under the blankets, but lo-and-behold... no Lenni. I figured she must still be downstairs and I just didn't see her before I came up. So I went to sleep without giving it a second though. At about 2 a.m. - the time of night when my husband's snoring mysteriously moves from the sound of a freight train to that of a rocket ship about to blast off - I decided the bed in the Guest Room was calling my name. As I walked in, I turned on the light to get the bed situated. And that's when I saw it - Lenni LuLu was there, lying on her back, paws in the air, head on the pillow, snoring away. You wouldn't believe the scene unless you saw it with your own two eyes. As I crawled into the bed, she didn't wake up... just rolled onto her side (snout and warm doggy breath right in my face) as if this was completely normal. And since that night, that is where she sleeps. Yes - that's right - my 2 year old German Shepard/Yellow Lab/"Who Knows What" mix has taken up residence in the guest room. Nice.

David vs. Goliath: My Battle with Babies R Us

Let's be honest... Babies R Us isn't worried about little old me not shopping there anymore. The $100 +/-  I spend there each month (or will no longer spend there each month) isn't making a big dent in their bottom line. I acknowledge that 100%. That's why it feels like my personal battle with Babies R Us is pretty much a lost cause... except for the fact that I know they've treated other customers just as poorly. I'm not calling for a full on boycott against Babies R Us or anything that extreme - I'm just asking them for a little respect... on behalf of ALL the mamas! Here's what happened most recently... I bet you can all relate.

Between Miss Paige's birthday and Christmas, she received a TON of presents - all of which were much appreciated! One outfit was a size too small... so I had to bring it back to Babies R Us. I didn't have the gift receipt, so I knew going in I wasn't going to get the full value for it. And even when they told me they could only give me $4.23 for the outfit (which I knew originally cost so much more), I didn't get upset. You win some, you lose some, right? Well - as I continued to shop around for some necessities - I decided to look on the clearance racks to see if I could find anything for next season. As I flipped though, I saw about 25 of the same outfits I just returned. No big deal. EXCEPT... they were being sold at the marked clearance price of $21.00!! Yes - that's right. The same outfit they said they would only give me $4.23 for was being sold for nearly 5 times that price - $21.00! At first I thought it was mismarked... but all 25 f these particular outfits were marked with a big pink sticker at $21.00.

So I took one and brought it up to the register to show that they shortchanged me about $15 on my return. And this is the response I got: "Sorry, but what the computer says is right. It  must have been on sale for $4.23 over the last 30 days. That is all that we can give you." I'm sure the look on my face said it all... ARE YOU FLIPPIN' KIDDING ME?! I didn't even say a word. I just looked at her like she was crazy because I was literally speechless. She turned around to another cashier and explained what had happened. The other cashier nodded her head and said, "Yup! Those are the rules!"

Now, for some I know $15 may not be a lot of money... but for a single-income family, $15 is Paige's milk for the week. And their reluctance to take my issue seriously and just blame the computer when common sense SHOULD have taken over got my blood boiling. And honestly, I was having one of "those days" and they were messing with the wrong mama. I'm not one to mince my words when provoked by sheer stupidity. Here is my response to the cashier, still pointing at the computer...

"Are you KIDDING ME? After thousands of dollars I have spent here over the last two years, you are going to lose my business over $15? I don't giving a flying fuzzball what the computer says - you know as well as I do that it is plain wrong to turn around and sell something for 5 times as much as you are willing to give me. And the fact that you are making money off this item TWICE is absolute thievery. Absolutely disgusting."

And the cashier - realizing at this point I wasn't messing around - said she would be back in a moment with the manager. While she was gone, the other cashier (the one who had chimed in earlier and witnessed the entire exchange), walked over and asked if she could ring up my other purchases. To which I said, "No. Unless this is made right, I'm walking out and leaving this full cart right here, and never coming back again."

When the manager finally appeared, I explained the situation again. I figured - He's got to see the stupidity behind what is going on, right?! WRONG! He pointed at the cash register/computer and said the same thing, "Sorry... but we go by what the computer says. There is nothing we can do for you unless you have a receipt." WRONG ANSWER, BUCCO! I gave him the same spiel. He went off somewhere, and a few moments later, the original cashier came back and said, "Alright. We'll give you the full refund." And that was that...

So in the end, they made it right. But - should a person have to raise their voice and fight over something that a two-year-old can see doesn't make sense? It's dishonest to make money off of something twice. It's bad business to treat your customers as if YOU (the store) are doing THEM (the customer) a favor by letting them shop in your store. It truly is disgraceful, in my opinion.

This experience, combined with a few others I've had or friends of mine have had (i.e. only allowing 3 returns in a certain time period, not honoring gift cards), has brought me to the conclusion that I will no longer be shopping at Babies R Us. Good riddance BRU!

To Spank or Not to Spank

In general Daniel and I are on the same page when it comes to parenting - we believe in structure, schedules and consistency. But there is a specific part of the parenting equation we weren't quite in agreement on - discipline. Specifically, the age old question: To Spank, or Not To Spank. It's something my husband and I discussed a great deal before Miss Paige was born, but never really came to a consensus on. As children we were both spanked. And, as far as we're concerned, grew up to be pretty decent people. However, I have no interest in spanking my children. Daniel, on the other hand, thinks it is an effective way to discipline. Up until now, it hasn't really been an issue since Paige didn't get into much purposeful trouble. But once she turned one, we quickly realized Miss Paige had inherited my curiosity and determination, and Daniel's selective hearing (You're husband probably has the mysterious condition of "selective hearing" too... He has no problem hearing his buddies in a crowded football arena with deafening noise levels, but ask him to take out the trash and all of the sudden he can't hear/understand what you are saying...). She understands everything we say, and chooses whether or not it fits into her action plan. If I say, "Paige! Do you want a cracker and milk?", she'll crawl right into the kitchen and wait by the fridge. If I say, "Paige! Don't touch the TV!", she pretends she doesn't hear me. Or worse yet, she'll turn around, smile, and go right back to putting her sticky little fingers all over the LCD screen and turning it on and off.

One day in particular, she kept going up to the TV, pushing on it (which would make it wobble), and then laughing. No matter how many times we said "No!" and took her away from the TV, she would crawl right back up and do it again. I even tried putting her in a "Time Out" on the stairs (aka: sitting her on the bottom step and holding her there for 30 seconds). She thought it was the funniest thing that ever happened to her. It obviously had no impact. So after a few more times of pushing the TV, Daniel took matter into his own hands... and spanked her. Not hard or anything, but enough that she felt it. And a split second later, she was crying as if she had just gotten a shot. She jumped off Daniel's lap and came over to me for comfort. We both felt TERRIBLE! For the next hour or so, she wouldn't even look at Daniel. And if he happened to catch her eye, she would burst out crying all over again. And however traumatic it was (for both child and parents), she hasn't touched the TV again! And that was about 3 weeks ago. But I still have no interest in spanking.

So I kept on trying my usual methods of "Three Strikes and Your Out!", but it never seemed to have an impact. So one day I was on the phone with my sister - aka Aunt GiGi - and she heard me doing the "1.2.3." thing. And she brought up a good point: Shouldn't you're child listen to you the FIRST time you say "No!"? OMG! It was like the lights had been turned on for me! It's SO true: stopping whatever they are doing shouldn't be optional. They shouldn't have three more times to do something before they stop. Children need to listen the FIRST time, or they need to be disciplined. I'm not sure why no one ever talked about this scenario before, but it has completely changed my life as a parent. Aunt GiGi learned about it at a parenting class she is taking at a local church, based on the book: Growing Kids God's Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. Here is link to their website: http://www.growingkids.org/gfi-core-curriculum/growing-kids-gods-way/  There is more that goes into it, of course, so Daniel and I are going to sign up for a class down here. But, in just a week, discipline has taken on a new, consistent and structured plan in our family. Here's how it works with Paige:

If she does some sort of inappropriate behavior (i.e. throwing her food, getting into Lenni's water bowl, climbing the stairs without parental supervision) I immediately say to her ,"Paige, come over here/look at me now." If she didn't come over or respond, I would go to her and tell her, "No. Do not thrown your food." If she did it again, I immediately picked her up, brought her upstairs, and put her in her crib for a "Time Out" (no more sitting with her on the stairs, thank you very much). Then I would leave the room and leave her in there for one minute. Of course she would be screaming her head off and crying bloody murder. After one minute I go into her room, pick her up, give her a hug and a kiss and tell her why she went into Time Out. The first day she went into Time Out 6 times : ) But I stuck with it and the next day, she seemed to absorb the consequences of not stopping an inappropriate behavior when I would say, "No" the first time. Over the last 5 days, she's only gone in Time Out 2 times, and never for the same thing twice.

This may not be the ultimate solution for all families, but it seems to be working wonders for us! It feels good not to constantly be barking "NO" over and over again for the same actions. I feel back in control as a parent. I'll keep you posted, but so far I feel pretty good about this... Wonder if it will work as well once she hits her teenage years? : )