Friday, December 11, 2009

Neighborhood Watch

Let me start by saying that when I was a child, I always dreamed of becoming an FBI agent. The mystery. The suspence. The danger. It was so alluring! That was until I realized that at the age of 17, I was still afraid of the dark. I'm pretty sure you can't be afraid of the dark and be an FBI agent. And even though I'm still afraid of the dark (I blame it on all those scary movies and books I read!) I still think of myself as quite the detective. So, now that I've clarified that I'm not just a crazy, nosey neighbor, but instead a seasoned sleuth, I can move on with my story : )

I've been on "house arrest" since 30 weeks, and have used that time to rest, clean, exercise (relatively speaking), and get ready for baby by watching the overly informative Discovery Health channel. I've also gotten to know some of my neighbors. One in particular fashions himself as quite the Don Juan. He's in his 40s, but thinks he's in his 20s - or I should say tries to act as he thinks someone in their 20s would. Loud parties all weekend, joy riding through the neighborhood in his cool white truck, and blasting bass-thumping music all day long! But the most interesting thing about Mr. Don Juan is his roster of girlfriends that he spirals through his home like a Lazy Susan. I've started to recognize a pattern based on the girls' cars. White Eclipse I'd Sunday and Monday, Gold Volvo is usually Tuesday. GV really fashions herself as the housewife, cleaning up, taking the trash out, putting a Christmas tree up - she must think this is the way to his heart. Then there is Silver CRV who usually makes an appearance on Thursdays, and Friday is left for Black Mazda. Saturday is left open for rest, I guess : ). The funniest thing about this is the fact that they are the only ones who take his dog outside to pee! That's how I started to realize that it truly is 4 different women - not one woman with 4 different cars. Every time I see them outside, each waves and smiles like we are old friends. I wave back. But I am dying to spill the beans! That's why I am doing it here : )

On Monday, there was a close call for Mr. Don Juan. I went to walk Lenni around the block and saw White Eclipse getting in her car to leave. It takes me exactly 12 minutes to walk around the block, and by the time I got back, Gold Volvo was pulling into the driveway! She's the Tuesday girl! Oh what I would have given to see GV pull up with WE still there ; ) Or any of them for that matter. It's my weekly soap opera. More updates to come... Especially when he gets caught! I'm sure I'll be able to hear the gunshots : )


  1. I've been lurking off and on (a fellow bumpee) and just had to comment on how this post made me laugh as you and I not only share pregnancy in common...but a life dream of working in an undercover field AND being afraid of the dark! (As sad as that last bit is to admit)

    Anyway, I'm forever telling my husband that I want a job like that of Dog the Bounty Hunter. I have an overwhelming desire to bust some perps! So rock on!! x

  2. Oh wow! I don't know how guys like Mr. Don Juan there actually get those women to stick to a schedule. I think that's already a mystery for you to solve right there ;D