Saturday, April 30, 2011

I'll Snatch Your Kid!

As mamas, we know people tend to say very strange things to us and to our babies. Grocery stores, Target and restaurants seem to be where these loose-lipped people gather. Oh, and come to find out, Children's Hospitals. Most of the time it's stuff you can easily brush off - like comments about how your child is/isn't dressed (Oh! No shoes today?!), their binkys (My child stopped using a binky at 3 months - isn't she kind of old to still be using one?) and any other subject people seem themselves experts on. But there is one particular comment I get every few weeks that REALLY frosts my cookies - "She is so cute! Better watch out, because someone might snatch her when you turn your back!"

EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME?! Did you just say my child is going to be kidnapped?

And I'm not talking about the times people say things like - I want to take her home with me! - or stuff like that. I consider that still in the range of normal. But referencing kidnapping? Not so funny.

The most awkward time this was said was in January when we rushed Miss Paige to the Children's Hospital because of a super high fever. As the doctor was leaving the room, she turned around in the doorway and said with a straight face, "You better keep a close eye on her! She's likely to get snatched one day!"  Daniel and I just stared at the doctor, both with blank looks upon our faces. Did she really just say that?! We were speechless.

Another time, I was in line at Subway with Paige when a woman walking by stopped, looked at Paige, and said, "If she were alone, I'd grab her and bring her to Hollywood. I'd be rich!"  No lie.

Today in Target as I was browsing the diaper/wipes aisle looking for a good deal on Huggies wipes, a woman approached me from behind and said, "Could you turn your back for a second so I can take your baby?" She was smiling... I wasn't. SO not funny. I made a beeline out of the aisle before she tazed me or made a grab at Paige. Back that stuff up, lady!

While I love Nancy Grace and watch her show religiously, I'm not trying to be the next mugshot featured after I'm arrested for vigilante justice as a result of some psycho getting too close to my babies. However, I think I'm going to start wearing a sign around my neck that says, "BEWARE OF OVERPROTECTIVE MOM!" and maybe put one on Paige that says, "THINK BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING STUPID - MY MOM IS A BEAST!" : )